Offbeat: Send us pig fat not chaos

Strongman Vladimir Putin made clear last week in typically vivid terms what he wanted from Ukraine, inviting the country’s new leader to export pig fat to Russia but keep political instability at home.
Speaking before reporters as he met Putin, Ukraine’s new President Viktor Yanukovych complained about the political chaos in his country in recent years and told the Russian leader: “I don’t wish it upon you.”
Not missing a beat, the Russian president-turned-prime minister smiled and said: “Send us your ‘salo’ instead,” referring to a lard delicacy associated throughout the ex-Soviet Union with Ukraine.
Putin also joked about the pre-emptory congratulations he sent to Yanukovych in Ukraine’s disputed 2004 presidential election, a hugely embarrassing blunder considered a factor that helped spark the Orange Revolution.
In an ironic reference to his too-early phone call five years ago, he quipped of Yanukovych’s win last month: “I was probably one of the first to congratulate you on election night.”
Yanukovych, who hails from Ukraine’s Russian-speaking east and has long been seen as friendlier with the Kremlin than his pro-Western predecessors of recent years, vowed instability in Ukraine would soon become a distant memory.
“We still have political passions in Ukraine,” Yanukovych said. But “very soon we will instill order in the country.”